Archive for the ‘Award categories’ Category

Lovely where we’re at (Ooh)
So let love take us through the hours
I won’t be complanin’
‘Cause this is love power (Ooh)
— Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough

Nuff said, really. Jessica Twentyman won it last year. Who will take her crown?


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Every hot man is out takin’ a chance
It’s not about love and romance
And now you do regret it
– Blood On The Dancefloor

Polish the turd and claim the glory. The past year has been full of hype-surfing.

T-Mobile’s flashmobs were loverley. Only a decade or so behind the curve. . .

No doubt 72 Point will receive an honourable mention for alerting the media to #welovethenhs. Of course, this paved the way for David Cameron to do similarly on 14 August: (“Just look at the marvellous Twitter response to #welovethenhs”.)

But there’s more. We know there’s more. And we’ll reward your favourite examples.

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When I had you to myself
I didn’t want you around
Those pretty faces always made you stand out in a crowd
But someone picked you from the bunch
One glance was all it took
Now it’s much too late for me to take a second look
— I Want You Back

Client defections? Tanking revenues? Chaos amidships? We think we know who’s lost more revenue than most this year.

But perhaps you’ve got a few suggestions to add to our one-strong shortlist. If so, let us know. . .

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No one wants to be defeated.
— Beat It

There’s been some bigguns this year. Enfatico was in contention for our crap re-branding award last year. (The name reminded us of a pizza joint on Sheen High Road.)

So we might want to celebrate laugh about its demise this year.

Then there’s Simon Sproule, the ex-Nissan flack who lasted four months as Microsoft’s VP of corporate communications. Surely someone fucked up there?

Not to mention Motorola. . .

Oh, and here’s a personal favourite: the employee at Microsoft Poland who digitally removed the head of a black man from a website photo and replaced it with the head of a white man.

But hey. At least they left the Asian bloke in the picture. Which was nice of them. Under the circumstances.

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They’re out to get you, there’s demons closing in on every side
They will possess you unless you change the number on your dial
Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close together
All thru the night I’ll save you from the terror on the screen
— Thriller

Otherwise known as the fuck-me-I’m-glad-I’m-not-within-a-million-miles-of-that award.

Some obvious candidates here: Phorm and Spinvox among them. On the media side of the house, we’re sorely tempted by Incisive Media, whose debt troubles seem to have reached a climax.

Got any prospects to add? Go on, then. . .

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Billie Jean is not my lover
Billie Jean is not my lover
Billie Jean is not my lover
Billie Jean is not my lover
Billie Jean is not my lover
— Billie Jean

In the year that GQ’s writers finally started blogging, we wondered at first whether there are any refusniks left.

As it happens, yes, there are still a few bosses who lust after the days when print was king, when the pure hormones of revenue coursed through their loins, unadulterated by the need to give something back to the network.

So who’s making the best bid to stay retro? Who’s refusing to acknowledge carnage in their business and the wider industry?

We quite fancy Ian Monk (though not in the Biblical sense of the word, obviously).

And here’s another one: mass market consumer tech magazine Computeractive, which ranks 143rd on Media UK’s listing of Twittered-up magazines.

No doubt this listing — like most such — is a bit tendentious. But appearances count, don’t you think? We note that both Cage & Aviary Birds and Used Car Expert rank higher than Computeractive. . .

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I really love it
Cuz if it’s achin
You have to rub it
She wants to give it
— In The Closet

Among many examples demanding consideration, we quite like Propeller PR’s recent claim that an increasingly lame Last.fm doesn’t compete with Spotify. (Apparently, Last.fm is really all about social networking, rather than music. . . )

In April, we found ourselves savouring the output of PR Week‘s resident geneticist and art historian Peter Hay, who set out to convince the world that the PR industry “still leads the new media world”.

But we’re also drawn to the defence of clients who oversee crap pitches offered by Bryan Taylor of Brands2Life: “In the case of one of our biggest wins of the year to date, the client purposely gave us a vague brief because it wanted us to demonstrate how well we understood the business from a standing start.”

Gracious, don’t you think?

If you feel the need to unburden yourself of further examples of humbug delivered in the service of corporate interests, drop us a line. The best example wins a coveted Jackenhacks trophy at The Dust Bar on 14th October. . .

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