Archive for September, 2009

The Jackenhacks must be getting close. That Brendan Cooper’s been in touch. Three times in 24 hours.

22 hours ago:
Oooh, you’re The Jackenhacks now! Bo selecta! How do I get my hands on a ticket, then?

20 hours ago:
Any chance I can blag a place? How about I give you FREE SPACE on my blog? How about I offer to clean your car? Wipe your windows?

Oooh, I know, how about I offer to help out at the front desk, like I
did when I was too late to enter last year?

Not that I’m desperate. Not yet anyway. Not officially.

20 hours ago (again):

It’s basically the same whingeing, self-pitying, keening, wheedling message as I sent you by email. [Editorial note: Huh? All of your messages to us have come via email, Brendan.]

Basically I only just found out about the Flack-sorry-Jackenhacks today and I’m too late, but it would be Fab O’Rooney if by some chance I could blag a way in somehow. Any chance? Not a chance? If it helps I’ll let you publicly lampoon me – much as you did last year…

Nah. That would be boring. But Brendan, if you’re watching, we’ve put a new batch of tickets on sale at Eventbrite since you took a peek. They’re here. Really.

Bo selecta? Fab O’Rooney? Jesus H. Christ. . .


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. . . Because the judges may need to take the piss out of an individual or agency that isn’t covered in the categories above. You know how it works.

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Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me and the entire human race…
— Heal The World

We really do like some of what one or two agencies have achieved this year. Well, at least a little bit. So this award comes from the heart. Really. . .

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Lovely where we’re at (Ooh)
So let love take us through the hours
I won’t be complanin’
‘Cause this is love power (Ooh)
— Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough

Nuff said, really. Jessica Twentyman won it last year. Who will take her crown?

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Every hot man is out takin’ a chance
It’s not about love and romance
And now you do regret it
– Blood On The Dancefloor

Polish the turd and claim the glory. The past year has been full of hype-surfing.

T-Mobile’s flashmobs were loverley. Only a decade or so behind the curve. . .

No doubt 72 Point will receive an honourable mention for alerting the media to #welovethenhs. Of course, this paved the way for David Cameron to do similarly on 14 August: (“Just look at the marvellous Twitter response to #welovethenhs”.)

But there’s more. We know there’s more. And we’ll reward your favourite examples.

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When I had you to myself
I didn’t want you around
Those pretty faces always made you stand out in a crowd
But someone picked you from the bunch
One glance was all it took
Now it’s much too late for me to take a second look
— I Want You Back

Client defections? Tanking revenues? Chaos amidships? We think we know who’s lost more revenue than most this year.

But perhaps you’ve got a few suggestions to add to our one-strong shortlist. If so, let us know. . .

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No one wants to be defeated.
— Beat It

There’s been some bigguns this year. Enfatico was in contention for our crap re-branding award last year. (The name reminded us of a pizza joint on Sheen High Road.)

So we might want to celebrate laugh about its demise this year.

Then there’s Simon Sproule, the ex-Nissan flack who lasted four months as Microsoft’s VP of corporate communications. Surely someone fucked up there?

Not to mention Motorola. . .

Oh, and here’s a personal favourite: the employee at Microsoft Poland who digitally removed the head of a black man from a website photo and replaced it with the head of a white man.

But hey. At least they left the Asian bloke in the picture. Which was nice of them. Under the circumstances.

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